James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
I'm just going to be honest with y'all right now...I need some wisdom seriously. The past month or so has been one of the weirdest and toughest seasons of my life! I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel of apparent darkness (or maybe cloudiness is the best word) and I know that I will look back at this one day and say, "Oh so that's what You were doing!" However, in midst of the mire and muck, I find myself easily discouraged and easily frustrated and maybe I'm not so fun to be around (I don't know, you will have to ask those that hang out with me...). But seriously, it has been a season where a lot of the things I felt so sure about and so confident in, have been in a way taken from me. Or I guess the best way to put it is that things are not working out how I thought they would. Yes, yes I know what I just said and I am not claiming that I run my own life. Nor am I saying that I don't trust God's sovereignty or His leadership...I'm just being real.
Right now (and maybe some of you out there) I am struggling to find my role in a number of different situations (church, worship, relationships, etc). I'm the kind of personality that thrives on feeling value. I need affirmation. Lately, that has been lacking. Maybe it's just a season where I'm taught to find my true value in Him, or maybe it's an attack from the enemy. Whatever the root, I'm constantly trying to remind myself that God likes me! God likes me! Hey in case you forgot, God likes you!
There are moments where I wish it could be like the movie Click where Adam Sandler fast forwarded through all of the bad stuff and only lived out the good stuff. But where would the lesson be? And where would the refining and purification be? It would be just a thing that happened with no deep-rooted, heart transforming revelation. I don't want that! I need a revelation. I need wisdom from the Lord.
Ephesians 1:17 - "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better."
So God, that is my prayer. I'm asking for wisdom and revelation. I want to know You better. I want to know the purpose behind this season better. I need wisdom that can only come from You. You promised to give it to us IF we ask for it. Your move.
(Note: I'm not angry or bitter)
Grace and peace.