Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Honesty is the best policy...so I've heard...

James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

I'm just going to be honest with y'all right now...I need some wisdom seriously. The past month or so has been one of the weirdest and toughest seasons of my life! I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel of apparent darkness (or maybe cloudiness is the best word) and I know that I will look back at this one day and say, "Oh so that's what You were doing!" However, in midst of the mire and muck, I find myself easily discouraged and easily frustrated and maybe I'm not so fun to be around (I don't know, you will have to ask those that hang out with me...). But seriously, it has been a season where a lot of the things I felt so sure about and so confident in, have been in a way taken from me. Or I guess the best way to put it is that things are not working out how I thought they would. Yes, yes I know what I just said and I am not claiming that I run my own life. Nor am I saying that I don't trust God's sovereignty or His leadership...I'm just being real.

Right now (and maybe some of you out there) I am struggling to find my role in a number of different situations (church, worship, relationships, etc). I'm the kind of personality that thrives on feeling value. I need affirmation. Lately, that has been lacking. Maybe it's just a season where I'm taught to find my true value in Him, or maybe it's an attack from the enemy. Whatever the root, I'm constantly trying to remind myself that God likes me! God likes me! Hey in case you forgot, God likes you!

There are moments where I wish it could be like the movie Click where Adam Sandler fast forwarded through all of the bad stuff and only lived out the good stuff. But where would the lesson be? And where would the refining and purification be? It would be just a thing that happened with no deep-rooted, heart transforming revelation. I don't want that! I need a revelation. I need wisdom from the Lord.

Ephesians 1:17 - "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better."

So God, that is my prayer. I'm asking for wisdom and revelation. I want to know You better. I want to know the purpose behind this season better. I need wisdom that can only come from You. You promised to give it to us IF we ask for it. Your move.

(Note: I'm not angry or bitter)

Grace and peace.


kurt said...

wow. that is really cool to here actually. seems like a common place right now.

love you man. cya.

Anonymous said...

This is from a daily devotional that I've recently read, it was tremendous encouragement for me hopefully it will be for you. I felt this was right for your circumstances. Its titled “A model in suffering”.

And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." Matthew 26:39

In Gethsemane, we see two different responses to trouble: Jesus' submission and the disciples' fear. We must learn from Jesus what our attitude should be when life becomes painful – one of earnest prayer to our Father who is in heaven. We must not try to stand in our own strength; rather we must learn new dependence on him. The person who will depend on God in times of trial and pain is the person whom God will be able to use. Above all, we must submit our will to the will of God: “Yet, not as I will, but as you will.” Our greatest problems come not from trouble, but from our resistance to trouble when we close our eyes to the will of God as it is revealed to us in difficulty. Thank God for trouble! It will drive us to him!

The disciples did not follow the model of Jesus; instead, they left him in his time of greatest weakness. They looked at their circumstances instead of to him. They forsook Jesus and fled. How it must have pained him! Peter denied him three times. How that must have pierced his soul! We must watch and pray lest we enter into temptation and forsake him when times are difficult. The Lord will not cast us off when we stumble and fall, and he has given us a way of escape so that we need not falter (1 Cor. 10:13). His is a grace that can keep us even when the opposition is great.

I hope this is of some encourage, and no doubt you'll be in my prayers

Anonymous said...

Hey Justin, I have been thinking of you a lot lately...just read your blog and now I know why...I will be praying for you! I really have missed seeing you in the worship team! Lots of things seem to be stirring...keep facedown, you will be lifted up!Standing with you, Debbie Simon