Monday, March 26, 2007

So timely!!

I must say that God is a timely God. If you have been keeping up with me via this blog thing, you have read about some struggles of mine. One, being rejected for the 3rd year in a row for a neurology residency and then the last blog about my struggles with getting alone with God. Then on Friday the Lord encouraged me in such a way that I was immensely overwhelmed. This past February I applied for a worship leading seminar in London with Tim Hughes. There were only 20 spots available to the entire world! Yes, the entire world!! Well...I am one of those 20!!! Encouragement, confirmation, affirmation and spirit/soul uplifter all in one. More and more God is opening doors for me when it comes to leading worship. I'm getting all shaky even typing this blog. Being specialized in veterinary neurology would have been good, but God had/has something so much bigger and better in store for me. The seminar is the last week in May and it will consist of Biblical training, practical worship training, learning about the roles of each worship band member, and there will be song-writing sessions. Plus, I get to spend a week with Tim Hughes! After this week, I will be able to say that Tim Hughes and I are friends...maybe I'll call him Timmy (probably not but you never know?). I can't wait. I want to leave tomorrow. It's amazing to see prophetic words (some that were spoken over 8 years ago), dreams, etc starting to come to fruition. God is so good and faithful! He has BIG plans for me. I'm not being prideful at all, but I'm believing God for an international worship ministry. I believe I am going to be partnered with such people as David Crowder, Tim Hughes and Chris Tomlin, leading others in unity in praise and adoration of our Creator and King! My spirit is welling up inside me just by me typing this truth. I am so thankful for the many of you who have given me encouraging words about this gift and calling of mine to lead worship. By doing so, you spoke this opportunity into being. Thank you for your hearts and your friendship. Not to us God, not to us, but it is Your Name that deserves all of the glory!! Hallelujah...

Welp, gotta book a flight.

Grace and peace.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Zeal where are you?

I am in a dry land right now... a desert if you will. Today it hit me, I haven't spent quality time with the Lord, about a month! What I mean by quality time is actually sitting down in my secret place, worshipping, reading and digesting His Word, and listening. To be real and transparent with you guys, I haven't had the desire to do it. I can try to pin it on me being busy this month, working overnight shifts, etc. But it just stems from a lack of zeal right now. It's been over a month since I studied the book of Colossians, which if you don't know, God placed it on my heart to in-depthly study this book after the Passion 07 Conference. Is this an attack from the enemy? Maybe. Is it just a period I'm going through? Maybe. Whatever the cause, the result is the to Him. Lately I've settled and become content on the emptiness and blah-ness. I've become comfortable going through the motions. I lack good Christian guy fellowship. I need encouragement and accountability.

BUT, our God is faithful. His heart is moved at the site of one of His children pressing in during times of drought to seek Him and worship Him. He rejoices over our responding to the "yes" inside of us. I need a fresh wind to blow in and through me. I need a fresh water to refresh my soul. I need the breath of God to blow on my coals. I want to feel His gaze, and feel the warmth and strength of His embrace. He is beckoning me to come to His table. So that's where I'll go. I'm reminded of the amazing song by Leeland called Carried to the Table. Here are the lyrics:
Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms
I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God You
carried me

Deuteronomy 33:12

Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him,
for He shields him all day long,
and the one the Lord loves rests between His
Can you visualize that last line? Here is what I see after I read that verse: I see God sitting down on the floor leaning against the wall or sofa with his legs straight out. Then I see me sitting between his legs with my back to His chest. His arms then wrap around me...I'm resting between His shoulders. There's no where else I'd rather be.
He is summoning me to His table and He is waiting to be able to cradle me in His arms. Oh sweet love. The cry in my heart is to be swept away by His love. At His table we don't see our brokenness anymore, we don't see our fears anymore, we don't see our insecurities anymore, or our weaknesses anymore. Here at His table, our healing and wholeness are found. Here the Lord places a banner of love over us.

Grace and peace.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

El Doctor

I don't really know why I'm blogging right now. I guess because it's 2:15am and I'm at work! Yes, yes, I know I promised all of you that the next blog would be about the Fourth Man playing up at Camp Glisson, which I know you have been waiting on pins and needles for! But instead, you are left with this random blog about some of the patients that are under my care right now. Let's see, I have a 7 month old Lab mix with a fractured right femur. It's kind of sad because it appears to be involving his growth plate, which may mean his right rear leg will be shorter than his left. There's a young Bichon that got hit by a car today that has pulmonary contusions (bruises in her lungs) and possibly has a broken jaw. She's resting a little more comfortably in one of our oxygen cages. Godfrey (which I think is an awesome name for a dog), is a 1.5 year old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel with fungal pneumonia...not good. Oh and there is this 215 pound Mastiff, named Oki, with septic arthritis (infection in his knee joint). Yes, I said 215 pounds! It takes the whole staff to get him up and outside to use the bathroom...pretty funny site to see. These are just a few of the patients I have the priviledge of monitoring tonight. Some critical, some not so critical. But being here and trying my best to help these little creatures (or big creatures...Oki is freagin big! I could probably ride him. But I'm not gonna because his knee hurts) makes me happy that I do what I do. There's nothing like taking in a critically ill animal or one that had a serious traumatic episode, and seeing them get better day by day, by day, by day... . Yes, there is the other side of the story where animals come in and they are bad off, and their condition worsens to the point where they die on their own, or we help them out. But you know, we tried our best, and most of the time, euthanasia is for the better...I find peace in that (see previous blog "Good-bye").

Well, I guess I should get back to my doctor-ly duties. Oki says hi!

Grace and peace.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Un-Match Day

Is that even a word?! Well, for those of you who read this (again I'm sticking by 1-2 people) and are wondering what the "h" the title means, today was the day where those who applied for a residency position to become specialized in a particular genre of veterinary medicine found out if they matched or not. And I'm sure y'all are smart enough to pull from the title that I did not match...for the 3rd year in a row. I'll admit I wasn't too hopeful this year, but it's still disappointing to get rejected. I don't do well with rejection...I'm sure you can ask those who used to be close to me and they'll agree (key word being "used" - that's where the word rejection fits in). Even though I wasn't hopeful that this hail-marry residency pass would be completed, I had a feeling that this might be my year. I only applied to 3 places (out of 7 in the country) - UGA, Univ of Florida and NC State. I thought I had a good chance at UGA since I went there...wrong. My mentor at Georgia Veterinary Specialists where I did my internship went to Florida for his residency, so I thought I had an "in" there...wrong again. NC State was kind of a long shot, but I had a fairly good interview with them 2 years ago...and so there was "no" number 3. So I'm done. No more emotional roller-coasters for me. It'll take me a few days to get over this rejection, but then I'll start to look at the brighter side of it. Being rejected for 3 years in a row simply means that God has something better in-store for me. It probably has to do with worship...not probably, it does. I will say that if I had gotten a position somewhere, then I would have had to drop out of the mission trip to Scotland (even though I'm not too keen on going right now anyway - hey I'm just being honest; I don't want to be fake blogger...or a flogger. God just needs to add a few more guys to the trip, that's all). Also, the skies the limit for The Fourth Man, and I would have little to no extra free time to play music or lead worship if I was a resident. And by the way, my next blog will have some new pictures from our latest "gig" up at Camp Glisson.

"All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails" (Proverbs). So His purpose is prevailing in my life. Everything I try to do for the most part fails. The plans He has for me are such deep waters and are so good. What's that phrase? I can't see the forest from the trees? Is that right? Well that's how I feel. Sometimes I lose sight of the greater because of the lesser that is being burned away or pruned away in my life. The "lesser" is what I thought was good in my life. He promises to shake everything that can be shaken. God is so grand and big and majestic! Stars come out of his mouth and He knows them by name, each and every one of them. In the beginning light came out of His mouth! Ponder those 2 sentences a minute and try to wrap your mind around how BIG God is! The billions and billions of stars that are in the universe; stars that are 100-1000x the size of our little planet earth, came out of His mouth! I mean, come on, we serve a BIG God! Yet, He's a God that wants to be intimate. He's infinite and intimate. He cares for me, He cares for you, He cares for us! He gathers His sheep and pulls them close to His beautiful is this picture?! So whom am I to question? Whom am I to say, "are you sure God?" I just need to trust Him, which I do, wholeheartedly. I've heard it said, "Wherever you are, be all there!" So that's what I'm going to do. For now (and I do stress for now), where I'm at is Marietta, GA. I honestly don't see myself living here for too much longer. When I say that, I mean in the 1-2 year time frame. Until I get called elsewhere, I pledge to be all here! My God is faithful and sovereign. People will let you down...I know this full well, but God will never leave or forsake you. People will change right in front of your eyes...but God never changes; He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Plans will fail and what you thought was going to be, won't be. I just need to set my heart and eyes on the eternal, on things heavenly (because everything else is temporary and will be shaken). I need a little more of the intimate God right now. I need to be led by the still waters so He can restore my soul. I am moved and quieted by this, "I am my Beloved's and His desire is for me."

Hey trees, get out of my way!

Grace and peace.